The Most Bizarre Encounters I Have Gotten As A Pharmacist
Pharmacists have to answer all kinds of patient queries everyday, and every so often we come across an interaction that makes you want to glue your palm to forehead. Here are some of the most strange and peculiar of those encounters that I have experienced.
- Where is your Melanin?
I’ve had this question a few times before, and every time it is simply a matter of mispronunciation where the patient was asking for Melatonin. Not this time. Of course I tried to clarify with the patient, informing that the sleeping aid medications are kept in the second aisle over. The patient was adamant that they were looking for melanin and that it was a medication that was available to purchase over-the-counter. So naturally I had to ask why they wanted melanin.
Tanning.
Apparently the tanning salon was costing too much money and the loyalty program wasn’t up to standard. Furthermore, the whole industry was a cover-up to hide the fact that melanin pills can be taken for ‘hyperpigmentation of skin tone’. I informed the patient that we do not sell melanin, and neither does it exist, and in fact any product purporting to be a tanning agent is false advertising and potentially dangerous. I was accused to be part of the conspiracy of ‘Big Tanning’ and promptly told to open my third eye to see what is really going on. Bizzare.
2. Vitamin D₃ vs Vitamin D
This is another common query that pharmacists get on a daily basis. Brand labeling for this product can vary from vitamin D, vitamin D₃, cholecalciferol, to ergocalciferol, among others. The standard response is to either explain the difference between vitamin D₂ and vitamin D₃, or that the two products that the patient is holding, a brand that states vitamin D, is the same as another that states vitamin D₃. This one particular patient confidently came to the counselling window stating the dosing on one of the products was incorrect. The issue at hand was that the D₃ labelled product was being wrongly dosed once daily like the other product labelled with only D. I was told the D₃ dosing should be once every 3 days rather than daily and was given a rather interestingly hilarious explanation why before I could respond.
Exponentiation.
Apparently (D₃)(1000µg)=3000µg daily, therefore normal dosing should be one tablet every 3 days in order to average 1000µg once a day. The patient literally wrote that equation down to try to educate me on why the company was erroneous. You can’t make this stuff up.
3. The Coronavirus Kooks
The COVID-19 pandemic has had people do some strange things. We had a patient buy our entire supply of hydrogen peroxide contact solution and our entire supply of lavender essential oil. The patient stated that the combination mix will ward off the coronavirus, and that they had worked out some extra additives to 100% stop the spread. There was the no changing the patient’s mind, despite my attempt to explain that the contact solution having 3% hydrogen peroxide cannot be used in a manner of sanitizing. This same individual also refused to wear a mask as it infringed on freedom.
Since we’re on the topic, the whole Plaquenil situation created another level of headache in the pharmacy. Between inappropriate prescribing of the medication, drug shortages due to supply chain issues, and rheumatic patients unable to be treated properly, every pharmacy across the globe has felt the effects of the ridiculousness that has ensued. One particular patient came in to order Lacrisert, however we didn’t stock the medication nor was it available for order. When I tried to give suggestions for other severe dry eye treatments, the patient informed that in fact the Lacrisert was for coronavirus prevention and was using it since ‘Trump said to’. Now Lacrisert is a ophthalmic insert that is priced in the hundreds of dollars for a 30 day supply, so you can imagine my confusion with why this patient was using it for viral protection. Turns out the patient had googled the chemical name, Hydroxypropyl Cellulose, mistook it for hydroxychloroquine that Donald Trump had tweeted about. Good thing this individual listened to reason when I explained why they were mistaken, but to even make that leap in logic floored me.
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If y’all enjoyed this, let me know, and I’ll make a Part 2.
